


The Becoming

by SlytherinPirate



Series: Changing Fate [2]
Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, au where mello and matt live, i just put it in there for shits and giggles tbh, slight crossover but you don't have to know the other fandom at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 09:01:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13186788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlytherinPirate/pseuds/SlytherinPirate
Summary: About a year after the end of the Kira case, Mello finds a death note on his doorstep.Technically a continuation of my other fic, The Surpassing, but I wrote it so it could be read by itself.





	The Becoming

**Author's Note:**

> Written for meronia1.tumblr.com for the 2017 Meronia Secret Santa!  
> Prompt: An au where Mello lives and a year or so after the case a death note falls on their doorstep

 

It was February 12th.

It was over a year since Near and Mello had faced Light in the warehouse, and the world was just beginning to get over Kira, to have everything back to the way it was before. Wars had resumed and criminal activity had spiked as soon as the world was made aware that Kira was no more, but now, after the hype had died down, crime rates were about at where they were before the notebook killings began. Of course, there were always more serious, almost unsolvable cases, but many of these were brought to the attention of L, and soon solved. L would often nowadays solve several cases at once, and the detective world was simply baffled at his productivity and ability to multitask, not to mention his ability to seemingly be in more than one place at once. What they failed to realize, however, was that L wasn’t just one person. In fact, the title of L was split among two, sometimes three young and brilliant detectives.

“Near, hey. Hey, Near. Near, hey.”

“What.” Near continued to stack his cards meticulously into a tower, not looking at the obnoxious goggle-clad man currently trying to get his attention.

“Well,” Matt said, sitting down beside Near, watching him build his tower. “Mello mentioned you just started on a case from the South Korean Cyber Association about a hacking war?” Near nodded but said nothing, so Matt continued. “You know I haven’t been on a case in a while, and I’ve got a friend in the SKCA I’ve been wanting to get back in touch with. So I was wondering… if I maybe could take on the case? That way you don’t have to fly all the way to Korea.”

“I don’t mind flying to Korea,” Near replied. “And besides, my plane leaves at eight o’clock tonight. It’s a bit soon to change it, don’t you think?”

“It’s not soon at all! Remember last year when you and Mello managed to get you a plane ticket to Japan in less than two hours?”

“I still don’t see why it really matters, beyond you wanting to see your friend, which is ridiculous.”

“It’s February 12th, Near.”

“I’m aware.”

“Valentine’s Day is in two days.” Near’s hand stilled, the card he had picked up forgotten.

“... Oh.” Matt rolled his eyes. 

“Jesus Christ you guys are so bad at romance,” Matt muttered, earning a sharp glare from Near. He sighed. “Listen, Near, just… Let me take the case. It’s about hacking. It’s what I’m good at. And it means I’ll be out of you and Mello’s hair on Valentine’s Day.” Near chewed on his lip, considering. “You guys can have a romantic dinner, have sexytimes or something--”

“Okay,” Near said before he allowed Matt to go any further. Matt grinned.

“Great!” He stood up and patted Near on the head, who swatted at him. Near decided to get up as well and go find his boyfriend. He had been stacking cards in the living room of their flat, their base of operations when they didn’t have to travel for cases. Matt, for convenience’s sake, lived with them, as he often decided to take on cases of his own, or assist Near and Mello in their cases. 

It occurred to Near that Mello was being strangely quiet. He wasn’t usually asleep at this hour, but Near padded over to their bedroom anyways to check, and sure enough, Mello was absent. Nor was he in the study, the toilet, the kitchen, the dining room, or even Matt’s room.

“Hey, can I transfer your files on the SKCA case onto my hard drive?” Matt asked Near as he walked past him to his room.

“Sure,” Near replied. “Do you know where Mello is?”

“Uh, he’s out.”

“Out?” Near furrowed his brow. “Doing what?”

“Er, nothing.”

“Nothing…” Near frowned. “I highly doubt that.”

 

Near was not wrong. Mello had completely forgotten about Valentine’s Day until that very morning, and had immediately went out in an attempt to find something to give Near, as well as make a plan for the holiday. He had always considered it dumb before, but now he considered it an excuse to dump affection on his annoying, yet adorable boyfriend. Now, it was about 5pm and he was on his way back to the flat with a brand new lego set, some flowers, and the ingredients to make homemade spaghetti and meatballs, all hidden in several bags so Near wouldn’t see what they were when Mello walked through the door. 

He was walking up the sidewalk to their door when he heard a loud  _ thud  _ from behind him. Did something fall out of someone’s window or something? Confused, he looked around to see what the offending object was and immediately dropped one of his bags in shock.

“Fuck,” Mello swore, not at the bag, but at the unmistakable black notebook that had appeared on the ground in front of him. His heart hammering, he shifted the bags in his arms and leaned down to pick it up. Sure enough, on the cover, plainly written, were the words,  _ Death Note _ . Mello quickly shoved the notebook into one of his bags and headed inside, his mind reeling. Why the Hell did another damn murder notebook decide to up and fucking land right next to him? And what on earth was he going to do with it?

“Mello, you’re home,” came Near’s voice as Mello entered the flat. “Where were you?”

“Er, shopping,” Mello said, indicating the bags in his arms, but his voice sounded faraway to him, like a stranger was speaking from his mouth. “I’m gonna put these upstairs.”

“Okay,” Near said, looking a bit confused as Mello rushed past him.

When Mello reached his and Near’s bedroom, he set the bags down and took out the notebook before sitting on the bed, back to the door, and examining it. It barely took a minute for Near to open the door and come inside.

“Are you alright, Mello?” Near asked. “What is that?” Mello said nothing, instead allowing Near to cross the room and see for himself what Mello was holding in his hands. Near took a small yet sharp intake of breath. “Where did you get that,” he said, quietly.

“It just… dropped on the ground next to me. I think it’s a new one. Not any of the ones used by a Kira.” Near sat down next to Mello and took the notebook out of his hands to examine it himself. Apart from the rules, it was blank. “What do we do with it?” Mello asked. 

“We can’t throw it away,” Near said. “Not when it could provide so much research. And… it may come in useful at some point.” Mello frowned slightly at this but nodded in agreement.

“We should tell Matt,” he said, starting to get up. Near pulled him back down by his shirt.

“Matt is gone. He took the South Korea case and is headed to the airport right now.” Mello sat back down and looked at Near.

“That was nice of him,” he said. “The South Korea case? Wait… were you planning on going abroad tonight?” Near nodded.

“The case needed almost immediate attention so I had booked a flight to South Korea for tonight.”

“How long were you planning on being in Korea?” Mello asked. Near simply shrugged in response. “Oh…” Something twisted in the pit of Mello’s stomach. So Near hadn’t been planning on spending Valentine’s Day with him… That was okay. The work comes first, of course. But still... 

Mello was taken away from his thoughts by Near tugging lightly at his sleeve. He turned to look at his boyfriend.

“I know you’re upset about the notebook,” Near said. He wasn’t exactly on the nose but Mello wasn’t about to correct him. “But it will be okay. At least it came to us and not another potential Kira. Another case like that…” Near ran a hand over Mello’s shirt on his stomach where Light had shot him in the warehouse. He had been aiming for Near, but Mello had taken the bullet. “I don’t want another case like that.” Mello sighed quietly through his nose before leaning down to capture Near in a kiss. Near kissed back briefly before pulling back and resting his forehead against Mello’s, reaching a hand up to curl his fingers around Mello’s golden locks.

“We’re going to handle the notebook situation,” Near reassured Mello.

“Yeah,” Mello said with a small smile.  _ That’s not really what I’m worried about, though… _

 

“Hey, Matty, how’s the case been?” Mello leaned back in the desk chair, one leg hanging over an arm. He was holding his phone in his hand, video chatting on a secure line with Matt, who had now been in Korea for the past three weeks.

“Dude, this thing is way deeper than I thought it was gonna be.” Mello sat up.

“How so? Is there anything we can do to help?” he asked.

“Maybe,” said Matt. Mello could hear the clicking of Matt’s computer mouse on the other side as he looked up something. “I’m wondering if any of your mob connections will know anything about this group. I think they’re a cult, but they seem to get a lot of their funding from the criminal underground.”

“Yeah?” Mello opened up his computer. Near, who had been working on a puzzle on the floor, was now listening intently to the conversation. “What do you know about them?”

“Not a whole lot yet, but I have managed to get a bit of surprisingly good info. Their name is Mint Eye and their leader is someone named Rika Kim. Here, I’m sending you a secure email.” Mello opened the email and scanned it with his eyes. It wasn’t a whole lot of information, just a general location and a background on Kim, including a black and white photo of her, seemingly at some sort of fancy party.

“I’ll get you in touch with some of my Korean associates,” Mello said. “I’ll see if they might know anything first, though.”

“That’d be great, thanks Mells!” Matt grinned.

“Any time, Matty.” Matt ended the call and Mello turned around to look at Near.

“Well, that was interesting,” Near remarked.

“Yeah,” Mello chuckled. “Who knew there’d be a damn cult involved in a hacking case?” Near stood up and started walking towards the kitchen.

“What do you want for lunch?” he asked.

“Don’t really want lunch,” Mello replied. “I am kinda hungry, though…” Near stopped and looked around at Mello, who had one leg over the arm of the chair again and was looking over Near’s body with a smirk and a lick of his lips. Near tilted his head to the side, slightly confused.

“Do you… just want a snack, then?” Mello sighed and stood up before crossing the room to Near.

“I want you,” he said, running his hands down Near’s arms.

“Oh,” Near’s voice was a bit breathy and his face flushed. He shivered a bit and pulled his arms out of Mello’s grasp. 

“You okay?” Mello asked, worried. Near nodded, twirling a strand of his own hair between his fingers. “Then… can I kiss you?” Near bit his lip before nodding again. Mello put his hands on Near hips and leaned in to kiss him. Near kissed back, deciding to rest his hands on Mello’s shoulders, balling his shirt into his fists. Mello deepened the kiss, opening his mouth and pressing his tongue against Near’s lips. Near let him in, moving his body closer to Mello’s. Mello’s hands started to travel down and Near pulled away, out of breath and red-faced.

“I’m going to go make some toast,” he said, still in Mello’s tight embrace. Mello retracted his arms, nodding, feeling slightly put-out. “Nutella spread?” Near asked.

“Yeah,” Mello replied, stepping back and crossing his arms, his face red from embarrassment.  _ Why did I have to go and mess this up, _ he asked himself. He had never been all that intimate with Near and he had thought they were getting closer, more confident. Not close enough, he supposed. And now Near was going to be uncomfortable with him… He mentally kicked himself and went back to his computer to begin looking for intel for Matt’s case.

Once in the kitchen, Near leaned against the refrigerator.  _ Why did I have to go and mess this up?  _ It wasn’t like he didn’t want to be with Mello in that way. He was trying to avoid doing something wrong, and in the process, managed to do something wrong anyways. He closed his eyes, pulling at his hair anxiously, before opening them again and getting to work on the toast.

 

Mello was pacing the living room, wringing his hands, and thinking. Near was on the couch, reading a book on the wave theory of light. 

“Near,” Mello said suddenly, interrupting Near’s reading. Near looked up, tilting his head slightly to the side as if to ask, ‘what?’ Mello tapped his foot anxiously. “Well, I realized… We haven’t heard from Matt in like, a month.” Near furrowed his brow. Come to think of it, any time they had tried to contact Matt in the past few weeks, they were met with no response. Near had figured that Matt was just busy, but Mello had a point in his worrying.

“We will call him again,” Near stated, putting in his bookmark and setting down his book. Mello frowned and bit his lip but nodded and followed Near to the study where they kept the secure phone line. Just as Near was about to pick it up, however, it started ringing. Mello nearly gasped in relief.

“Matt, thank God,” he sighed, smiling. Near picked up the phone.

“Hello?” He quickly put the phone on speaker so Mello could hear and speak to Matt as well. But the voice that came wasn’t Matt at all. No, this voice was higher, softer, and scared.

“Yes, Hello. I am Detective Jung. L instructed us to call this number in case of emergency.” Mello’s eyes widened in sudden fear and he looked from the phone to Near.

“Detective Jung, may I ask what happened?” Near questioned. Though any outsider would take Near’s question as completely monotone, Mello noticed the slight shift in tone that indicated that Near was nervous, too. 

“Er, who am I speaking to?”

“You can call me N. I am one of L’s associates. Please explain what happened.”

“L decided to try to go undercover at this cult, Mi-”

“Mint Eye. Yes, we know about the cult and its leader. Go on.”

“Well, he has been compromised. We had a system in which L would check in every twelve hours, and if he failed to check in then we would know that he has been discovered. It has been over a day since he last checked in. We have been trying to get to him, and we’ve found and apprehended several of the cult members, but it seems as if he is being held by the leader herself.”

“Rika Kim,” Mello whispered, thinking hard. Near’s eyes immediately locked onto Mello’s and they shared a sudden thought. Near’s gaze hardened to a look that clearly said  _ Do not. _ Mello began wringing his hands again, considering despite Near incessantly shaking his head at him.

“Detective Jung, I will come up with a plan to assist you. In the meantime, keep trying, but send details of any plan you make to this email address.” Near read off the email address as he suspiciously watched Mello, who was pacing again. As soon as he had given the email address, Near hung up the phone. “Mello, we can’t.”

“Why not?” Mello nearly shouted. “Rika Kim is apparently the main obstacle standing in the way between Matt and getting out alive.”

“Under no circumstances are we using the Death Note.”

“I am not losing Matt, Near. No fucking way. No way in Hell. I don’t think I can deal with that.” Mello’s breath was coming out in short bursts and his eyes were wide. Near stood up and crossed the room to him.

“Mello, calm down.” He hesitantly reached out a hand to touch Mello’s face. The coldness of Near’s hand on his face jolted Mello back to reality. He closed his mouth and tried to even out his breathing through his nose as he looked at his boyfriend. “I will not allow us to use the notebook,” Near stated flatly. Mello blinked and then grew angry.

“Why not?” he snapped, causing Near to quickly lower his hand and step back. “It’s not like you haven’t used it before.”

“What is that supposed to mean.” Near narrowed his eyes, going on the defensive. Mello took a step forward and Near took another step back.

“Nobody stabs themselves with a pen, Near,” Mello said quietly, his words as heavy as the weight that felt like it was on Near’s chest. He said nothing, looking pointedly away from Mello, who continued to speak while stepping forward again, causing Near to back up once more. “The notebook was right next to you. I know because I dropped it there. I wasn’t in the room when Mikami died but I read the full report and I even asked most of the witnesses for additional accounts. It wasn’t worth it to say anything then, but now you’re trying to be a hypocrite? When Matt’s life is on the line?” Mello’s voice was quieter than Near had ever recalled it being, and it disturbed him more than almost anything else he had encountered so far. Near had backed up all the way to the wall now and was still looking down, anywhere but at Mello’s face.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Near’s voice was almost a whisper. His heart was pounding and he swallowed a lump in his throat.

“Liar!” Mello slammed his fist against the wall next to Near’s head. Near immediately shut his eyes and clutched his head in his hands, sinking lower on the wall. Mello backed away a few feet, his face falling into shock at what he had done, and then guilt. “Near… Near, I’m sorry.”

“What do you want me to say?” Near was still in the same position, eyes squeezed shut and hands tangled in his own hair. “That I… That I killed someone?”

“I just want you to tell me the truth…”

“Fine.” Near opened his eyes, stood up straight and lowered his hands. “I did it. I killed Mikami with the notebook. Are you happy?” Mello gave Near a look that was not pitying, but more resigned.

“Thank you,” he said softly before heading upstairs to their bedroom.

“Mello, what are you doing,” Near asked suspiciously, following Mello. Mello quickened his pace and soon disappeared into the room. When Near entered, it was to find Mello on the floor near the space under the bed where they had hidden the notebook. He had the notebook in his hands and was writing before Near could even try to stop him. 

“Mello-”

“It’s done, Near.” Mello closed the notebook. “I’m sorry…” Near said nothing and crossed the room to sit next to Mello. “I’m sorry,” Mello repeated, his head bowed, his voice betraying anguish and guilt. “I had to… I can’t… Matt’s my best friend…”

“I know…” Near scooted closer to Mello, so that their legs were touching. They sat in silence for several minutes before Mello spoke again.

“Do you still love me?” Near actually looked straight at Mello when he said this.

“Yes,” he said, definitively, as though the answer to Mello’s question was painfully obvious.

“Even though I’ve killed someone with the very thing that we fought against?”

“We have both committed that act, Mello. I thought we had gone over that.” Mello nodded sullenly. After another minute or so, Near decided he could no longer take the silence and the heavy atmosphere of the room. He got up and left to go call Matt’s detective team in Korea, leaving Mello sitting cross-legged on the floor, the pen still sitting precariously in his limp hand.

 

“Okay, so I have some good news and some bad news.”

Mello was on the phone with Matt again. It was the first time he had called after escaping the clutches of the cult.

“Yeah? What’s the good news?” Mello asked. Near was in his usual position on the floor, this time playing with his lego set that Mello had gotten him for Valentine’s Day. Now, however, he was listening to Mello and Matt’s conversation, which Mello had put on speaker.

“I’m coming home tomorrow. Case solved. Boom, I’m awesome.” Mello could hear Matt grinning on the other end and he grinned as well.

“Hell yeah. Can’t wait to see you, man. Oh, you have no idea..”

“Well, then there’s the bad news, too. I-”

“I thought that was the bad news,” Near said with a smirk from the floor.

“Shut up Near,” Mello laughed. “Matt, continue.”

“Welp. Thanks Near. Anyways, I think there might be another death note out there.” Mello and Near exchanged looks.

“Oh?” Mello tried to sound innocent.

“Well… As you know, I was compromised by the cult I was investigating, and I only managed to escape because… The leader, the one holding me captive? She just died. Of a heart attack. Just randomly. I’ve already started looking into possible leads. We might have to come back to Korea to investigate further, because since Kim was Korean, and she looks to be either the first or one of the first victims, the culprit is probably also Kor-”

“Matt,” Mello interrupted. “It… Near and I found a death note right after you left for Korea.” There was silence on the other end for a moment before Matt responded.

“So… You and Near… Killed her?”

“Not Near,” Mello said, his eyes shifting over to Near before going back to the phone line that he was twirling between his finger. “Me. I killed her.”

“I… Thanks…” Matt sounded confused, as though he wasn’t sure what to feel.

“Don’t thank me, Matt. It wasn’t right. I know. I just…”

“No, yeah, I get it.” Matt cleared his throat. “But I… I was afraid for my life in there. As much as I hate that stupid fucking notebook, if you hadn’t… y’know…”

“I’m glad you’re safe, Matt.”

“Yeah… I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Yeah.”

“And Near, see you soon too. Don’t give this idiot too hard of a time. Love you guys.” With that, Matt hung up. Mello looked over at Near in time to see a small smile on his face. It disappeared as soon as he looked up at Mello, however. Mello said nothing, waiting with bated breath for Near to say or do something. 

“Matt is safe,” Near said, finally. “I’m relieved.” Mello nodded.

“Me too.” He continued to watch Near. After another moment, Near began to turn back to his legos. “Near,” said Mello. Near looked back at him. “I want to talk to you.” Near waited in silence as Mello got out of his chair and walked across the room to sit down next to him. “About like…” He bit his lip, struggling to try and find the right words. “Our relationship..”

“I’m sorry,” Near said, tugging at his own hair between his thumb and forefinger and not looking at Mello. Mello blinked, confused.

“Sorry? Sorry for what?”

“I…”  _ Damn it. I said something wrong again. _ “I don’t feel that I am doing enough in our… relationship, but I fear that if I try to do more, I will do things wrong. More wrong than I have already been doing…” Mello frowned.

“Near…” He ran a hand through his own hair. “God, Near… You’re fine. I don’t…” He let out a breathy laugh, and Near was suddenly reminiscent of the laugh that Mello let out the first time he had said ‘I love you.’ “I don’t deserve you…”  _ That’s right, _ Near thought.  _ He deserves better than this. _ “I’ve been such an asshole. You haven’t done anything wrong, trust me.” Near looked up at him now.

“But…” He furrowed his brow in thought. “I pushed you away, a lot. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“I shouldn’t have kept pushing in the first place. I kept trying to get our relationship to go further, and I should have stopped at like, the first sign of you being not cool with it.” Near sat in thought about this for a few moments.

“I think that if you tell me what you would like to do before you do it, I can assess whether I am comfortable right then, instead of having to push you away and collect my thoughts.,” Near said, thoughtfully. “I… I have been thinking about taking this further as well.” His cheeks colored slightly.

“You have?” Mello finally turned to look at Near, only to find him looking back at him.

“You said you wanted me to tell the truth, yes?”

“I… Yeah…”

“Well…” Near looked to the side with his eyes, still facing Mello as he twirled his hair faster. “I cannot help but worry that I won’t be… adequate. In whatever new step we take.”

“Near…” Mello’s face fell into a look of sadness before hardening into determination. “Hey. You’re everything and more, okay? I couldn’t ask for better. I don’t give a shit how ‘adequate’ or whatever you are, you’re perfect for me.” He took one of Near’s hand in his own. “I wanna show you something, okay, so..” He raised Near’s hand so it was level with his chest. “I’m here,” he said, before raising Near’s hand to reach above his head. “And you’re way up here! See, how can you be inadequate when you’re dating someone who’s such a goddamn mess already?” Near couldn’t help but let out a chuckle and he squeezed Mello’s hand as they lowered their entwined fingers into the space between them.

“Thank you, Mello.”

“No thanks necessary.” Mello squeezed back and smiled warmly at Near. His other hand came up to rest on Near’s cheek and his face slowly fell once more. “God, I can’t forget… It wasn’t just pushing you, Near. That wasn’t the only thing I fucked up. I-I scared you, didn’t I?” Near’s face fell as well as he looked up at Mello, remembering how loud Mello’s fist had been, hitting the wall right next to his head. “That day, with the notebook. When I…” He frowned, trying to read Near, to see if he was perhaps forgiven for some reason. “You were scared, I could tell. I just got so angry… I haven’t been angry at you like that since Wammy’s. I’m sorry. God..” He looked away and started to take his hand away from Near’s face when Near’s hand reached up and grabbed it, holding it in place.

“It cannot happen again,” Near stated. Mello looked back at him and nodded, swallowing hard.

“Of course. Yeah. I just-”

“I love you.”  _ Still?  _ Mello thought. “May I kiss you, Mello?” Mello smiled and nodded, leaning down to meet Near halfway. Their lips met and Mello wrapped his arms around Near’s waist as the younger man tangled his fingers in Mello’s blond hair. It was a sweet, emotional kiss, and soon it was broken, but Mello rested his forehead against Near’s.

“I love you too, Near.” Near smiled. They had a lot to talk about still, and quite a few insecurities for each of them to overcome, but everything was okay for now. Everything was okay.

Upstairs in their room, above the sweet scene between the two lovers, the new, mysterious death note sat in a box under the floorboards beneath the bed. Hovering above it was a dark, looming creature, waiting for the new owner of its notebook to return for it again.


End file.
